Tales From The Playa #1- Re-birthing a Woman and Burning a Man
September 8th, 2008by Zoe Brock
BLACK ROCK CITY, NV-
Your boots are white with dust as fine as talc. Insidious stuff. Your legs, your arms, your face, whatever clothing you have decorated your body with - all are white, silty and dry. Your skin reacts to the alkaline, shrinking, drying, withering, trying to escape it. But there is no escape. The dust is everywhere - in your eyes, your lungs, your ears, in every nook of your body, in every cranny, in every fold of fabric that adorns you, everywhere you look… your world is white. And so you trudge across this white world, this wide expanse of nothingness, bracing yourself against the whirling-dervish winds, staring blindly into the invisibility that surrounds you. You are cocooned in the nothing, strangely safe and yet completely assailable.
You have never felt more alone, more surrounded by love, or more alive. Your vulnerability is your greatest strength.
This post-apocalyptic landscape strengthens your resolve and buffers your sense of self.
You are at The End of the Earth.
Welcome Home.
You catch a glimpse of moving structures and beings through the whiteness. A creature looms, a fluffy rabbit drives by helmed by a renegade cast of characters, a half-naked hula-hooper spins into view and vanishes again, a goggled and masked humanoid passes on a feathered bicycle and disappears into the cloud, something indescribably weird happens and you can only shake your head in wonder. There is much that is indescribable here. Indecipherable, unimaginable… you know that you will have a hard time convincing others of the perfection of this very imperfect place and you shrug. You are not, nor will you ever be, a missionary.
Noises abound. The wind howls over whoops and yells. There is music everywhere. Guitar screams, thumping bass, a violin…. a violin? Nothing you expect and everything you could ever imagine - if you were insane. For this is madness. Barely organized chaos. Insanity. The bizarre, the beautiful, the grotesque, the amazing.
Onward you move.
As the light fades so does the wind. The roar and force abates but the madness doesn’t. The power of nature is replaced by the power of humanity and technology as a whole new world reveals itself to your eyes.
The white-out is over.
You remove your dust-mask, your goggles, your methods of protection. You look around and, in the fading desert sunset, in the dusky twilight of the Nevada gloaming, this is what you see-
Magic.
All around you are lights of every color. Red and blue and gold and green. Static, flashing. The lights belong to structures that pump sound out into your environment. You are far from these lights but they surround you completely. You are in a womb of blinking neon.
A pirate ship on wheels passes by. A silver Sphinx crosses its path in a near collision. The fluffy rabbit returns. Someone waves and smiles. You return the greeting.
A rocket approaches and the feeling you are having of being a traveler to another planet intensifies. Perhaps you are on the set of a science-fiction epic? Perhaps you are a warrior on the barren plains of another world? Perhaps you are a god or goddess, a king or a queen, a survivor of the apocalypse… one of The Last?
Or maybe you are just you and you feel different? Bigger, stronger, more alive…. more capable and inspired. Your reality is altered.
The possibilities are endless.
In the distance you see your destination. Your bunny-ears twitch and a smile illuminates the twilight.
Look!
Your feet skip a dance to a tall Moroccan tent filled with laughing people. Cocktails are poured, trays of food pass under your nose. You partake, feasting, drinking, soaking it up.
The person you love is grinning. He/she looks beautiful, radiant, alive and very, very dusty. You have never loved more deeply or with more detachment to an outcome.
Your heart is full.
Your friends are happy.
Small worries fade away.
A new perspective emerges.
Your life seems suddenly complete.
You have evolved somehow and a strange new sentiment is birthed within you.
“All is as it should be.”
You know you will remind yourself of these words in the near future whenever a cab is late, a drama unfolding, a person pushing your buttons or things not going your way. You know you may temporarily forget these words, but that they will come back to you more and more, and that from this moment on you are changed.
You have become lighter and happier and less touchable by Stuff.
You have survived the storms, transcended yourself and walked through fire.
You are at Burning Man and your world will never seem the same again.
If you would like to see a video of our time at Black Rock City, Nevada then please click the following link. The movie was made by Ron Kurti and stars himself, his father, our friend Udi (who took all of these beautiful pictures) and yours truly.
It is a perfect memory made into a whimsical and beautiful little film. Please enjoy and feel free to leave a comment on either of our pages. Hearing stories of your own experiences on the Playa would be wonderful and if you have any questions which might inspire you to go then I’d love to help answer them. xx
Tags: apocalypse, brc, burning man, burningman, dust, perfection, playa
Thanks for sharing Zoe B. Those 1st three pictures are amazing. Magic is a perfect word for them. The ears look great too!
thank you!!! I had to swear a bunny oath and drink carrot juice to earn them. Udi is responsible for all pictures, not I. I was blessedly unencumbered by a camera and it made all the difference to my experience I think.
I feel like a Philistine for taking away the feeling of ‘Ha ha ha! Bunny ears!’ in as much measure as any inspiration…
“ha ha ha! bunny ears” is as good a reaction as any! trust me, I had many similar reactions out there, though most of mine were “ha ha ha! PENIS!”
Very cool, Zoe. Very cool.
thanks lovely. no words can do it any justice. I’m stumped.
It is impossible to explain the true appeal of the desert to anyone that has not experienced it first hand.
sounds elitist but it’s true.
I meet so many people who are snobs about Burning Man and who pass judgments but have never actually been…. it’s remarkably short sighted and silly.
Glad you had a blast kid. I was good to have you there…
more coming, kid…. with YOU in them. mwahahahahhahaha.
and thanks for the blinky stuff and the love. wish we’d had more time together but such is life.
all is as it should be…..
I love you. x
I haven’t been so I will never understand until I do.
It sounds so horrible to me.
Ahhhhh
you make your own heaven.
you make your own hell.
it’s amazing what you can put up with and dust storms, like all storms, do pass. then there’s just clear blue sky and beautiful sunshine.
xx
with you along to share the ride for all that is burning man festival, i’d gladly endure all of that sand blown into my bits. lovely write, so happy you have your eutopia
and I would happily kidnap you!!!!! there is even a snert friendly zone called kidsville……. tons of squirts running around being happy and crazy.
and ps— the dust storms are not permanent. they pass. apparently some years there are none (and yes, I do dream of that for next year).
there is nothing out there that YOU cant handle. warrior woman. x
Ah, Zoe. A lovely account. The video is beautiful. It makes me a little wistful. You were wise to leave the camera behind. I tried, but couldn’t resist a few shots. I’m still waiting for disposable camera pictures to be developed as my digital camera started to behave badly from the dust.
Although it was really brief and rather incomplete, it was a pleasure to meet you at Entheon. Sorry I couldn’t chat longer. I think we found you your water or granola or whatever it was that you needed but then I got called into the refrigerated container to haul boxes of lettuce and avocados into the kitchen on my shift. I didn’t see you after that.
I also saw you at the showers but I was in no state for a friendly chat. I would have battled the giant metal mutant art car in the Thunderdome or risked sudden decapitation at the Teeter Totter of Death for that shower!
Were you at Afterburn at 1015? I saw a wispy, willowy dark haired woman who looked like you. But it could have been all the fog and liquid nitrogen and strobe lights messing with my head.
Anyway, it was great to get a glimpse into what your first Burning Man experience was like. Our experiences were probably quite different, but leaving with a transforming shift in perspective is definitely shared.
YOU!!! I looked for you everywhere, and asked your friends… but you were a ghost! a vision in the kitchen.
Meeting you was a complete surprise. how crazy and wonderful and far too fleeting.
Yes I went to 1015. and then I left. hated it. too hot, too not the Playa.
As for our different experiences…. I will write more about the subject but will say now that I had an amazing time DESPITE Entheon, not because of it.
next year…. different scenario altogether when it comes to camping.
xoxoxoxo
hey zoe,
this was awesome! was this your first burning man extravaganza? sounds like it. in which case tell me how you decided on the bunny costume.
I didn’t decide on any bunny costume! I was given some ears at a bunny stand after I pledged bunny allegiance and drank carrot juice. personally I think the ears and whiskers detract from my Princess-Leia-was-a-post-apocalyptic-hooker-obsessed-with-tank-girl look, but whatever!
it was my first time though.
I am no longer a virgin.
it feels good.
Zoe S. Thompson,
Great tale from the flats.x_kit
Best. Compliment. EVER. x
and, oddly enough, I was likened to the old bastard PHYSICALLY out there. weird.
I even had a freaking-out attorney… fear and loathing was more joy and madness, however. x
I am so jealous of your brain, Zoe.
Truly beautiful post.
JJ
noooooo!!! it’s weird in my head!
you’re lovely JJ. all my heart. x
Extraordinary post. And the video was stupendous.
One day, I s’pose I oughta wander out there to see what I find in the desert…
methinks you might likee…. heh.
ZoEEEEE!!!! You’re back and the power and beauty of your trip is evident in your words. There is an elevated sense of being in them. This is such a compelling write, cathartic, trippy and somehow you made dust seem oh so appealing.
The pics are mystical and fantastic. I’ll swing by and check out that video too.
You are not, nor will you ever be, a missionary.
That is one of my personal philosophies and when I read it here it meant far more to me than the words on the page. There’s some powerful stuff in this story and I read in the comments that you hav more to say… Looking forward to it.
xo
thank you my darling woman. thank you for always reading, always commenting, always making me smile.
I am a missionary about butt plugs though. everyone must have a cause. heh
You captured the spirit well.
It was almost like being there with Zoe.
thank you. so hard to describe…. I’ll take your “almost” gladly. xoxoxooxoxoxxoxoox
too jealous for many words
meh
(next year tho…)
I’ll be around 7.30 and B most days….. see you there Kiwi!
the video is fantastic
that man is good with a camera and clips
he is indeed. I am personally rawther fond of him and all his myriad abilities.
and he’s been angling for the september “perfect boyfriend” award—– he had a good shot until he waited two days to read this because he “forgot”.
back to square one I guess…. (ducks).
At first I thought you were the Rabbit from Donnie Darko, then I realised it’s Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast. Horrifying.
I love the desert. Such extremes, all in one place, and no matter how dry, solitary, barren and desolate, there’s always something living, no matter how well disguised. The most beautiful sunsets and sunrises (I’m a sunrise kinda guy), showing up the irridescents from the quartz crystals mingled with either the frost from the morning, or blurred by the remains of the heat haze in the evening, as the ground gives it all back up again.
Someone to hold and admire a bone-dry-wood fire, giving off incredible heat and sparks under the cloudless nights that suck the warmth straight out, with air so cold that it smells of Christmas.
Intense heat on one side, building cold on the other, as sex is had, flame light playing on skin as bodies breath out clouds of steam. What’s not to like?
And then…
DINGOS ATE MY BABEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!!!!!!!
ahahahhahaha. I love you when you wax lyrical. I am the rabbit AND Ben, all wrapped into one. And I had a hysterical attorney….. go figure.
I think you’d like it out there, Adam-girl. You would be right at home. lots of happy freaks and silly stuff to bend your mind and inspire. lick nothing else on this planet.
Your mind is fine as talc. Your limbs, your smile, the ridiculous clothing you have decorated your body with (is any clothing not ridiculous?) are like a joyfully dry joke shared with a friend. Your words are everywhere - in front of my eyes, tattooed onto my heart, in my mind. There is no escape. As I follow you across this wide expanse these four years, this wide world, bracing myself against the winds in my own life, watching you braced against your own, I smile and know that each day, wherever we are, surrounded or cocooned, yet always alive, everything changes. And nothing does.
Your vulnerability will always be your greatest strength. Your vulnerability, your desire to face it head on when others only have the imagination to embrace it, and your gift of sharing it.
Some days Zozo, you’re one of my greatest strengths. Wub. xx
this is the most beautiful comment I have ever received. And you have left many.
I have nothing proper to say.
You are a loving and lovely friend. x
I knew I shouldn’t have posted it. It’s all going to be downhill from here huh?
It was missing a fart joke I think. Or a buttplug reference. Maybe a dicktits picture.
Sigh.
See you soon treacle. Be smiley.
Zoe:
I wanna figure out a way to set up a Burning Man in my soul and have you be the eternal ringmaster pyrotechnic Technicolor Goddess.
Or put another way: you rock my world, my dear.
is this when I am supposed to air guitar?
but why won’t you sleep with me, you gotta sleep, right, and i’m house broken and kinda cuddly and besides, we’re soul mates… wait, i meant to ask why won’t you have sex with me, dang, that’s why, i can’t ever get the line right…
i have not had internet for ten days and may not have it for another few or more days and this is what i choose to do with the few moments i’ve got it tonight…
i will always love you, innocently, of course, even if i lust for you unrequited forever too…
meanwhile, thanks for reminding me of myself (as only irreverence egos can
I agree with you about George and with him about you, you people and your words, fuck if i ain’t jealous… play that funky air guitar, white girl, i wish i could play so good.
no more sugar for you!!!
thanks for always reading Mr R, and always flattering. I am not worthy.
Ah…such a soaring spirit of people and light - beautiful video. Reminds me of when I lived in the desert.
Beautiful post, beautiful film, beautiful you.
Wonderfully exotic. Mmm.
i had to read it twice. felt like i was there. what an experience. thanks for sharing. hands off my carrots.
I like it when you write of the gloaming…..
no matter where you find it.
Love ya Z
ahhh shit.
I’ve missed your brain.
xo