This is actually one really long comment on Duke’s essay, “When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth,” which you should read first.

Sexual silence is enabling all sorts of political elephants, and TNB’s resident sex columnist can’t stop shouting about it.

The important parts of an estate are the least expected: trips to the dump, a memory, and a box of porn.

In which Erika Rae finds it difficult to transcribe porn while feeding her children goldfish crackers.

If Hemingway had been a porn star, this is how he would have written.

What is the most horrifying smell that you’ve encountered from porn?

The smell of a vagina with vaginitis is the worst ever. On the set of a lesbian gangbang movie in 2006, a smoking-hot girl opened her legs to get pummeled with gigantic, double ended, black dildos. Her fellow performers plugged her holes up, airtight. When the anaconda-like devices came out, it was like breaking a vacuum seal. Rotten fish garbage steamed out of her. I turned my head and died for her inside. Too much going back and forth ass to pussy had created the stench. But she was still fucking beautiful.

What makes you happy?

Swearing always makes me smile. I laugh when I hear and get overjoyed when I read any nasty language. Maybe it has something to do with a hot sauce and spicy food fetish. I love the burning sensation and shock in my mouth and in my throat. If my eyes aren’t watering, it’s not strong enough. Cussing, in my opinion, can never be overused. It’s just not for everyone though, and I wish it could be. Some people’s digestion just can’t handle it. But it should still be respected.

Elizabeth Hazen discovers the fascinating horror of porn shut up in a secret place.

Please explain what just happened.

We were just looking at a photo of three girls we know from high school that ended up on some porn site. We’re currently driving through New Mexico.

What is your earliest memory?

WAHHHH WAHHH MILK TEARS SLEEP FOOD WAHHH

If you weren’t musicians, what other profession would you choose?

I’d be in the NHL, I’d be a teacher, I’d sling beanbags, I’d be the head of Def Jam.

Please describe the current contents of your refrigerator.

EMPTY… We’ve been on tour for a while…

Emily Kagan Trenchard confesses the unsure transgressions of her hand.