Please explain what just happened.

I started responding.

What is your earliest memory?

Getting a bath in the kitchen sink at my grandmother’s house.

If you weren’t a musician what other profession would you choose?

Gardener, or surfer, or bank robber.

Two years ago a friend of mine asked me to check out this site online, so I…

Please explain what just happened.

I just read a bunch of these other interviews and realized I wasn’t going to be half as funny as Anthony Camera. So instead I have to try the honesty route and hope it works out.

What is your earliest memory?

I have this memory of a room where every wall is a different pastel color. Outside a window there is a pigeon cooing. I recently asked my mom what house this was and she kind of freaked out because we moved out of that house when I was only 6 months old.

Please explain what just happened.

I farted.

What is your earliest memory?

Sticking a rock up my nose when I was about four years old. My mother had to take me to the emergency room to have it removed. The doctor gave me a sucker. I was thrilled.

If you weren’t an artist, what other profession would you choose?

If I was not an artist I would probably … ummmm… like being a farmer maybe? A crop farmer. Not one who had to slaughter animals. Maybe soy beans. Yeah. A soy bean farmer. Or corn.

Describe a typical work day.

Sleep in. Frozen pizza and maybe some Judge Judy. Hit the gym. Painting/Artwork will kick in anywhere between 6 p.m. and 9 and then work till 2 or 3 in the morning with classic soul and rum n cokes.

Please explain what just happened.

I’ve been trying to figure that out for years.

What is your earliest memory?

Looking at my brother’s tricycle on top of our very steep driveway and thinking, “If he can do it, I can do it”. What I don’t remember, though, is getting on the tricycle, flying down the driveway and ending up in the hospital with a bunch of stitches in my forehead.

If you weren’t an artist, what other profession would you choose?

Something really smart sounding that involves traveling. Like some sort of UN ambassador or secret agent. Except they’d never hire me, so I’d probably end up in the back of mail room sorting mail my whole life like Bukowski or something.

David S. Wills takes a trip to Hunter S. Thompson’s home in Woody Creek.

Please explain what just happened.

I’m guessing you just clicked on The Nervous Breakdown’s Arts & Culture tab. And perhaps you had to scroll down a little.

What is your earliest memory?

Dressing up as Queen Esther for Purim. Which is odd, since I’m not Jewish.

If you weren’t an artist, what other profession would you choose?

I loved teaching high school — I’d like to go back to that someday. Yes, really.

Please explain what just happened.

I was trying to grope you.

What is your earliest memory?

Fighting in the womb with my goddamn twin brother. He was trying to strangle me with our umbilical cord. I was supposed to be first.

If you weren’t a photographer, what other profession would you choose?

A quantum physicist… but I hate math. I guess that would be a theoretical quantum physicist.

Please describe the current contents of your refrigerator.

Three celery stalks, prune juice, and a half-eaten human foot.

Please explain what just happened.

Anxiety-induced nausea.

What is your earliest memory?

Watching, fascinated, as my brother lit a paper-towel on fire, ‘recreating’ what we saw at the circus that night. I was about four. He dropped the burning paper towel on the shag rug, which woke my sick mom. It started an awesome bonfire in her room!

If you weren’t an actor, what other profession would you choose?

Probably someone who travels around doing cool stuff with animals. I wouldn’t want to die with a stingray’s barb in my heart though. That would blow.