I make up imaginary bands. Here are their names. Enjoy.

How many people can credit their nickname to Beavis and Butthead? Sean Yseult, “The Chick in White Zombie,” can.

Kill creativity and help make the world a better place!

What do John Turturro and great rock bass have in common?

Please explain what just happened.

What?

What is your earliest memory?

The poodle attack.

If you weren’t a musician what other profession would you choose?

Pool-man.

Please describe the current contents of your refrigerator.

Tortillas.

In which Steve Almond responds to Joe Daly’s latest essay.

A painfully humorous biography of “Dutch Oven,” a bar band that played briefly on Chicago’s north side in the late-nineties. This is the story of how the band formed, negotiated set lists, learned their instruments, and opened a street festival, in that chronological order. The true story has a happy beginning, middle, and end. Except for the bass player.

The 1980s are embodied in this modern tale of an old El Camino. This is the American lifestyle, baby. Rev it up!

I like all these bands. The Broadways are from Chicago. The two guitarists are now in The Honor System and The Lawrence Arms. The bassist is now in The Lawrence Arms and The Falcon. I think they were something like 19 or 20 years old in these videos. I think these videos of them are [...]