Robin Antalek whines about writing and offers an explanation for her absence.

A frustrated mid-list writer ponders the publishing scene.

“Interview With an Umpire”

What would you like to talk about?

Fiction.

Okay. Are there any recurring themes or motifs in your work?

I have a joke that, every once in awhile, one of my characters starts to tell. It’s about a llama and a Methodist preacher. So far, it has never been told.

What’s the joke?

I’m not telling you.

Is talent the most important thing?

Hope, change, inspiration, perspiration, submission (through the editorial board, of course), the nervous wait… The Postman rings twice (you were in the shower) and… rejection! Writing sometimes sucks!

Much has been written about the benefit of the internet to writers. It has leveled the playing field, giving writers worldwide access to readers and vice versa… instantly. But it has also swelled the ranks of writers, some of whom are not quite ready to publish, some who will never be, some who are brilliant at marketing, and some who are literary masters. Who can tell one from another? And who has the time to sift through it all?

The engineer leaned back in his seat, shades on in a cold dark room, still very Cali though he’d been in Nashville well over a year. He worked awhile with Rubin and some other big dogs before most of the industry dried up or moved to Music City. “Yo, you’re a Beastie fan huh?” he [...]