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This I Believe

By Michael Earl Craig

Poetry

I don’t know how to behave but
I know what I believe. I believe
that if I stick my head in the oven
I won’t take it out. I believe in
corduroy couch cushions. I believe
in digging a tunnel with a small
silver spoon. I believe in tunneling
with this spoon under the city
and never giving up.
I believe in after-breakfast naps
and Russian roulette—
Russian roulette while eating ice cream
as I watch the evening news.
I believe in the evening news.
And I believe in celebrity.

I believe in those photos
on the web of Putin playing doubles
Ping-Pong, outdoors, in his Speedo.
(Find those.) I believe in haircuts
and bubble gum, and putting my face
down into a pillow or cushion,
and that when I do this I will see
the future, plus other cultures, most
of them, and I’ll get work done
that couldn’t be done another way.

I believe in tacos and mortification.
I believe that all people fall
into one of two categories: Doonesbury or Far Side.
Well, or Andy Capp. Andy Capp type people.
They’re everywhere.

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Michael Earl Craig MICHAEL EARL CRAIG is the author of three collections of poetry: Thin Kimono (Wave Books, 2010), Yes, Master (Fence Books, 2006) and Can You Relax in My House (Fence Books, 2002). He received a BA in English Literature from the University of Montana, and an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Massachusetts. His poems have been published in various print and online journals, including Provincetown Arts, The Iowa Review, The Believer, HoboEye, Octopus Magazine, Fence, jubilat, and Denver Quarterly, as well as anthologized in Isn’t It Romantic: 100 Love Poems (Verse Press, 2004) and Poems About Horses (Everyman’s Library Pocket Series, 2009). He lives in Livingston, Montana, where he is a Certified Journeyman Farrier, shoeing horses for a living.

8 Responses to “This I Believe”

  1. Judy Prince says:
    August 29, 2010 at 3:18 am

    What a kick, Michael! I thoroughly enjoyed every bit of your quirk-start poem.

    Welcome to TNB from one who’s slightly preferential towards Far Side—–ok, I totally love Gary Larson’s stuff—–especially the cows pole-dancing!

    Reply
  2. Mark Sutz says:
    August 29, 2010 at 5:21 am

    I don’t know how to behave but
    I know what I believe.

    Wow, how true.

    Reply
  3. Lorna says:
    August 29, 2010 at 10:05 am

    I believe I fall into the Far Side catagory. Which is probably why this all makes perfect sense to me. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  4. Becky Palapala says:
    August 29, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    I’ve known a few farriers in my day and a few poets, but I am all but 100% certain that you are the first farrier-poet I have ever seen.

    Not counting the farriers who wax philosophical after a 6-pack. Those are a dime a dozen.

    Reply
  5. Gloria says:
    August 29, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    Far Side all the way. Doonesberry isn’t absurd, so I find it disappointing.

    I’ve always wondered if I could leave my head in the oven. Or stay in the running car. I don’t think I could.

    Reply
  6. Rich Ferguson says:
    August 31, 2010 at 1:22 am

    I so love this poem, Michael. It just makes me smile every time I read it. So glad we could feature you here on TNB.

    Reply
  7. D.R. Haney says:
    September 1, 2010 at 9:28 am

    Livingston, yo!

    Reply
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