It took me a while to think who Jonathan Rhys Myers was— I’ve only seen him in Bend It Like Beckham and, I think, a kidnap drama with Courtney Love…

I’ve been in two minds about writing a follow up to this, because generally I always want to do something new. Having said that it was a lot of fun, it’s probably been long enough to not be considered trading on past success and ‘More Unanswered Letters To Famous People’ would make a catchy title.

I’ll keep those guys in mind. Maguire would be especially good now he’s not Spider-Man anymore. It was that emo dance that did it.

Frances McDormand always plays such irritating characters.

I was dissapointed with it.

And I’m glad that my suspcions about the Ravens have been confirmed.

Incidentally, I recently went to University of Texas at Austin and went to a Poe exhibit where I found out that the Ravens were in fact named for the short story. So no, no coincidence there.

Cuntsino Royale.

Your letters absolutely deserve responses. I laughed, I cried, I think I wet myself. Great post, Irwin.

I FIND YOUR LACK OF ROAD SENSE DISTURBING!

I’ve never seen Laurence Fishburne in anything other than Event Horizon. I think his eyes exploded in it at some point…

Although I suppose it does need content to make sense— otherwise it’d just sound like an order, or perhaps bizarre advice…

The Man With the Golden Cum

Dr, No!

BrownFinger

Octomompussy?

The dine hard comments were great too. Funny how a line or two can jump up and capture the reader’s attention like that.

From Pussia With Love.

On Her Majesty’s Secret Cervix was my personal favourite.

I can understand with the low-ball “anything between $6-12″ offer, but otherwise…

Meantime, I’m trying to think if there was ever an actor whom I enjoyed watching die — repeatedly. No one comes immediately to mind, but it does beg a question: Has Will Smith ever died in a movie?

And I say, it’s time to play it forward. If we must have a beefy black guy with oodles of gravitas and a deep voice, let’s get Laurence Fishburne, OK?

“stick a fork in me lads… I’m done” is one of my favourite things to say, to be said in a proper English stage actors voice…

Recently ay university I had to come up with a plot for a film and write a section of the script. It included pretty much every 80s action movie cliche possible… It was basically a Rambo-Escape rom New york love child…

I don’t know… there’s a reason Freeman is the best…

However, if you ever find yourself crossing paths with Innis and Gunn Original Ale then that is quite another matter. It’s 6.5%, largely because they use the casks from the local distellry. Only the Scots would think of it… it’s ale that tastes like whisky!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1320253/

Dine Hard, Dine Harder and Dine Hard with a Vengeance. Really, how can you go wrong? I think the last line of one of these epics has to be “stick a fork in me.”

You are pinnacle of excellence, my friend.

Maybe if it was Dine Hard it would have made it.

All three of those dudes have small hands.
Their prints are still in the wall where Planet Hollywood died downtown.

I’m tired of Morgan Freeman, though. Let’s get somebody new to do the voiceover, is my vote.

(Would have commented sooner, but having technical difficulties…)

And I’m a total bandwagonner, carpetbaggin’, coattailer – but “Dine Hard” is classic!

Dine Hard. Fucken hilarious, James.

And these work better written down than read out…

Also, Jude Law partially redeems himself by being quite good in Sherlock Holmes.

–Riley

With material like that, I fail to see why you aren’t still doing stand up.

For the record, Keira Knightley can massage my thorax (or any other body part) with anything she damn well pleases.