Comments on: Two Letters to Francine, the Jewel-Osco Cashier at Aisle Five

By: Erika Rae

Erika Rae — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 05:04:05 +0000

“Here, I’ve actually drawn a picture.” HA

Good stuff here, Greg.

By: Greg

Greg — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 16:07:56 +0000

I know that now. I bet you spend a lot of time near the baked goods.

By: Irene Zion

Irene Zion — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 02:30:27 +0000

True, Greg.

Money is a good thing to ask for.
You never know when someone will just hand some over.

By: 1159

1159 — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 02:13:00 +0000

I like to spend my days
down at the Piggly Wiggly
cause Piggly Wiggly
is the place
for me
Down on aisle 5
that’s where I met
my baby piggly
you know she makes me
so wigg-i-ly.

By: jmblaine

jmblaine — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 02:11:03 +0000

No way
you’re telling me
this is
fiction.
No way.

You know
I have a grocery store fetish
right?

By: Greg Boose

Greg Boose — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 01:55:02 +0000

Now we’re talking. Share at will!

By: Greg Boose

Greg Boose — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 01:53:50 +0000

Yeah, I wrote this a while back when you were skipping by Chicago and that version was NC-17 because it was written for an erotica collection. An erotica collection that earned me about $5 in royalties. Glad you’re on board, Kip.

By: Greg Boose

Greg Boose — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 01:49:21 +0000

Money. You could ask a friend for money.

Glad it made you laugh, Irene. My job here is halfway done.

By: Nancy

Nancy — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 00:36:25 +0000

Brilliant. Had to share this with my friends on FB.

By: Tip Robin

Tip Robin — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 23:34:46 +0000

This is hilarious, and if my memory serves me it’s the same one Claire mentioned when I had dinner with you two the first time. This is old by internet standards, but still juicy and characteristically Boose-humorous.

By: Jessica Anya Blau

Jessica Anya Blau — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 23:18:41 +0000

Hilarious! Excellent drawing, too!

By: Irene Zion

Irene Zion — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 22:02:33 +0000

Jesus, Greg,
I just ate, it’s not safe to laugh this much after you just ate!
This is marvelous and I have to say that I am delighted to know that this is humor but NOT non-fiction. Had this been non-fiction, I am quite sure that you would be wearing one of those white jackets right now with the r e a l l y l o n g sleeves.
Your friend is a wonderful pervert/cartoonist.
Who could ask for more in a friend, really?

By: Greg Boose

Greg Boose — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 19:41:44 +0000

I need to state that all of these drawings are by my buddy in Cincinnati, Chris Simmons. He’s a fucking genius with the pen.

By: Matt

Matt — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 19:33:32 +0000

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

It’s the drawing that really seals the deal. So much detail…..

By: Greg Boose

Greg Boose — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 15:53:16 +0000

Hey, thanks Joe. Glad you’re enjoying these posts. Funny thing about that line you quote is that I changed it no less than six times before settling on “bananas and cigarette lighters.” I think it leaves a lot to the imagination.

Now, what you should have done with those food stamps was try to sell them to someone in the store buying non-alcoholic goods. Then use the cash for that gross twelver of Keystone. I’ve been hit up many times for this transaction, but I’ve always thought it was a sting so I run the other way with my fingers in my ears.

By: Joe Daly

Joe Daly — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 15:37:57 +0000

>>If none of that is familiar, then you will surely remember the three-week span where I bought nothing but bananas and cigarette lighters.<<

You always triumph in the little details like this, that remind the reader that the characters are, at the very least, just “not right” enough to pave the way for a very funny story. Well done.

Btw- for some reason this made me remember the time a friend and I tried to buy a twelve pack of Keystone at a Chicago Jewel with food stamps. The cashier was a dead-sexy Polish girl who seemed like she felt worse than we did when she advised in a thick accent, “Sirs, you can’t buy beer with those (food stamps).” Ah, supermarkets…