Go Robin!

I took out a wall once with a sledge hammer. Hard work! Not sure I have such fond memories as you. Hahaha.

You’re so right about the need to thin trees in general. It’s a real problem. We’ve prevented the natural fires for so long, it’s out of control. My point is not that the forests don’t need thinning. I actually agree with a lot of these efforts. What I don’t like is what appears to be a lack of any real planning. Here is my bullet point list:

1) No distinction btwn trees which are heartier, more fire resistant, more beetle resistant and those which are not. In a thinning effort (as opposed to completely clearing a space) some distinction ought to be made. They took out perfectly healthy trees of this former description, while in some cases leaving the old, scraggly trees standing.

2)They left the trunks and slash on the ground in the PEAK of the fire season up here. Late fall. Its been on the ground for a month and a half now. We do have snow now but this is a recent development. As an adjacent property owner, I have heard of no plans to remove said slash aside from inviting the public to pay per cord to remove wood themselves. As of today, I have seen no members of the public who have been willing to pay to remove their own wood.

3) This particular policy was developed in the face of heavy lobbying from the logging industry. The only reason the loggers aren’t picking up the wood that was cut here is that they don’t want it (it’s not up to par for them in this region). The problem with loggers helping to shape this plan, though, is that it was developed partially to help *them* without a deeper look into the needs of individual communities.

4) I pointed this out above, but I think it merits repeating: we already have a fire break about a quarter of a mile behind the house. This was put in after a forest fire about 20 years ago up here. The trees that burned are still there, too. Both of these factors together make this area far more fire resistant for another fire. It’s already burned and we already have a fire break. I firmly believe that had this been evaluated, the powers that be would have determined cutting so near the houses is redundant. This policy was a blanket policy to be carried out for all adjacent property owners in the US, without regard for any other factors.

5) Beetles. Cut trees attract beetles. If these trees are not disposed of properly and in good time, they WILL attract beetles when the warm weather returns. (We’ve had horrible problems with beetles on the western slope already.) We have so far had a mild beetle problem here – but with the amount of fresh sap, we may very likely face what some of the areas in Summit County have seen – devastation of the forests. Not only will beetles kill of most of the remaining trees, but – you guessed it – those dead trees will be an enormous fire hazard. Much worse than had they left this segment of the forest alone.

All in all, this policy *sounds* great. It sounds like something we need. The problem is that the practicality of the situation does not meet the theory. It’s an application of a policy to every forest, regardless of individual circumstances.

We still need a short film for the TNB TV segment of TNBLE-NYC on Dec 11th. Purdy pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesae???

Either way, since you’re drunk it’s probably pointless to debate logic at this point. Right?

I think I’m a little drunk.

Then again, mine did, too, and I don’t wax. Just judicial man-scaping.

Very few things, I think, quite relieve tension or pent-up any-sort-of-energy besides taking a hatchet to lumber. Doesn’t matter the how or why: just breaking anyshit is fantastic. Several years ago, my father decided to dissemble our backyard deck, and by “dissemble” I mean he handed me a three-pound sledge, pointed at the deck, and said “Bring ‘er down.”

Took me a solid several hours, and I’d wager the only time I’ve spent several hours better, I’ve been in a bed.

Also, having left Denver this time last year, I know from those McSuburbs.

Also – men have bushes, too, so I get the title.

Our fire plan? Get the hell outta Dodge. When this place goes – it’s gonna go. 2 roads out by car. I just hope one will remain open.

The community down the road from us did have a fire knock on its door a few years ago. The fire fighters ( we have a huge community of these fine people up here) did an amazing job and kept structure damage minimal. A few of the mountaintops we see every day on that drive are still barren and charred from that fire. It’s a constant reminder.

The trees are nice to have, indeed.

I hope the trees survive us.

If you guys need nekkid protest assistance, you let us know.

i wish there were trees all around me. all we have are stupid palms that don’t hide a thing.

I don’t like your neighbors. I’m coming over with my flippers, a pogo stick and some sort of Big-Foot contraption. I’m going to run around their house and leave weird tacks all over their dirt.

I think you should video tape it.

On a separate note- Viva La Trees!

I just love it when you write about nudity, chainsaws, and fires.

Dare I say, it turns me on.

Bucketfuls of love and Bruce Lee-whoopass your way.

Chainsaws! Argh! After the last hurricane here, those horrid things roared nonstop for months. In some cases for good reason, considering people had giant trees in their houses. I could live with that.

But then came the “preventive” action. More neighbors than I care to count cleared a few, sometimes all, of their mature trees just in case. It was emotionally painful to watch the canopy recede further, out of fear.

One of our old trees was damaged pretty badly in the storm. I dreaded that it might have to be cut down. My trusted tree guy showed up, looked up into its twisted branches, and said, “If it were mine, I’d keep it.” I look at this tree every single day and thank George.

I love trees.

Rage on friend.

Now that does seem ever so slightly vulgar when read over. Whoops.

Convicts with chainsaws. What the hell?

She was pissed when she called, too. There was a dangerous tremor to her tone.

*snort*

Yeah, I’m kinda pissed myself. The cut zone starts about 10 ft off the back of our property. Too close for comfort. Not to mention, there goes any wind block we had.

And that’s the nicest compliment I’ve received all day. We Erikas-with-a-K take kindly to that.

I was also assuming your piece was more going to be about Kimberly’s documentary – alas – at least i’m in good company.

I’m so sorry about your forest – that sucks. The Lorax would not approve!

I’m all for the naked walk bys unless it makes them cut even more trees – maybe they like naked walk bys – oh, you never know.

This shit just makes me mad. It’s senseless waste, and as pointed out above, is really just creating a larger fire hazard. In fact, I think I’m going to go write a strongly worded letter to the proper Federal authorities.

‘scuse.

But I was delighted (hm. not sure that’s the right word) to read it nonetheless. Wanton disregard for nature makes me so sad.

For the record… I agree with Brin. Give your neighbors one hell of a show! Naked protests! Huzzah!

I’m sort of stuck on your neighbors unneighborly stating that your dog was “making footprints in [their] dirt.” What? Then they got a dog themselves? This doesn’t make sense.
It’s also sort of unnerving that they keep complaining and even mentioning the sheriff. (Can you picture his getting a call that a neighbor’s dog is leaving footprints in their dirt? The whole station will be laughing!)
Trees.
I’m heartbroken about the trees. I love trees. I can’t think about it. Other people will have to address that.

By the by, you have a beautiful home, and a wonderful, if somewhat depressing story here. Good luck! If they come back and you need a sign-wielding lunatic to scream at some Forestry people, I’ll volunteer! Ha!

You write very nicely, Erika. You earn the K.