POEM
My Waitress at SonicBFE, TEXAS 06 December 2009 |
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She looks just like you
my waitress at Sonic.
With her skinny long legs
and the bashful way she waits
for the tip she knows is coming.
I hand her a dollar and she smiles.
“Thank you.”
She curls her u like dew
and it is a divine melody
to my homesick ears.
A barn swallow flitters past
knocking her off balance
and we giggle together.
Her eyes are blue, unlike yours,
but they are as deep as the ocean,
the way yours are as deep as the earth.
“Have a nice day,”
I say
and mean it.
She turns then walks away
and I cry because she is not you.
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I really like this, Ducky. My favorite bit is the interior rhyme of “Thank you/she curls her u like dew.”
Ah, thanks Matt. I used to hate my native tongue. Hated the hick sound that some people made. But then I lived in NY for so long that when I finally heard it again, it was like water in a desert. Now I love that Southern lilt. Seek it.
Exquisite, Ducky!
Precise, clear, emotion-perfect, sweet with memory…..and *yes* to Matt’s favorite bit.
Another among your many striking images, the second line the surprise key:
“A barn swallow flitters past
knocking her off balance
and we giggle together.”
Best,
Judy
I second that ‘favourite bit’, except I’m from the UK so I’m spelling ‘favourite’ with a ‘u’.
Also, I didn’t realise you’d posted this until now, when I saw a comment in the ‘recent comments’ section… Did this not show up on the main page?
You Brits – always have to be different. Oh, wait. Your language came first.
Not sure how the juried sections work. I think only featured artists are on the main page.
Yeah, I don’t know where to look for updates… Oh wait, there’s a poetry section at the top. I’m an idiot.
Blame it on the sea urchin.
Thanks for reading, Judy.
I like writing about moments. Trying to catch the lightning of a moment.
Nicely put, Ducky: “Trying to catch the lightning of a moment.” Yet catching a moment with all the senses—as well as poetically—which is what you did, is Very Difficult. Good for you, making it sound so simple! More more more!
Best,
Judy
Ah, Ducky. Welcome! You’ve crossed over to the dark side. The TNB Poetry Page. Great to have you aboard. I really loved reading this poem. It’s a pleasure to have you on the page.
Why is it so bright on the dark side?
Thanks for having me, Rich. It’s an honor to be here amongst such great talent.
Ah Ducky~
love you
love your words
love long skinny legs
and to you
i give the words
of one Tanya Tucker
When I die
well I may not go to heaven
I don’t know if they let cowgirls in
If they don’t just let me go to
Texas
Cause Texas
is as close as I’ve been
Dear 1159 –
Thank you for loving me.
Thank you for loving Tanya Tucker.
And Texas.
Yours truly,
Ducky