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For an explanation of the 30 Stories in 30 Days, start at Day 1.

It’s been 20 days and I’ve written 19 stories so far. Some days the stories get better. Some days you’re on vacation in Seattle and the stories get drunker. Or I get drunker and the stories get shorter. Or you get shorter and Seattle gets sometimes. I THINK YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Here is the 20th story I’ve written, on the 20th day of this damn project.

 

Party Down

Sometimes when I take a shower, I start thinking about something and working it out in my head and later realize I have been in the shower way too long. I am often running late to things, and I know that my shower philosophizing is partly to blame.

Like, once I couldn’t stop obsessing about the song “We’re an American Band.” I kept wondering about the lyrics. Does it go “We like to party down/We’re coming to your town,” or is it “We’re coming to your town/We like to party down”?

Because if it’s “We’re coming to your town/We like to party down,” that’s like an invitation. They’re saying, “We’re coming to town, so you know, hook us up! Come party with us! We love to party.”

But if it’s “We like to party down/We’re coming to your town,” that’s more of a threat. They’re warning you, “Hey, we totally party wherever we go, and we’re coming to where you are, so watch out.” I eventually had to get out of the shower and look it up.

Once they invent Google Shower, I am never coming out.

 

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Darci Ratliff Founder and editor of online magazine Kittenpants, producer for stage and screen, former writer for the Comedy Central Insider, quoted in both Maxim and Jane: DARCI RATLIFF can do it all, and does do it all (on or before the third date). Buy her book, If I Did It at kittenpants.com.

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