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Lenore Zion

Lenore Zion earned her MFA in fiction writing in 2004 and then ventured forth into the cruel world of working at Blockbuster Video. Shortly after being unharmed in a wimpy DVD robbery, she retreated to the safety of academia and began a doctoral program in clinical psychology. In May of 2010, Lenore will once again be released into the real world, this time armed with a more important sounding graduate degree. Lenore is currently working on her first novel, a quirky and twisted exploration of her internal world that she has cleverly masked as a "story." She can be reached at LenoreZion@gmail.com.



 Recent Work by Lenore Zion
HUMOR »
In The Name of Watermelon
Lenore Zion has a serious problem with food that causes her to panic and lie about the foods in her possession.
HUMOR »
My Dead Pets Are Interesting
Lenore makes people uncomfortable while trying to make them comfortable.
ESSAYS »
Sunday Morning/The Party’s Over
All the other girls wanted to light matches, but Lenore wanted to burn herself with them.
ESSAYS »
What I Did In My Room
What another human did in her private time, before she was fully aware of societal rules that eventually forced her to censor her behaviors when in the presence of others.
ESSAYS »
There Have Been Many Lies
The lies people tell are indicative of the world they’d prefer to live in to reality. Lenore Zion describes the reality she'd love to live in.
HUMOR »
A Relaxing Day at the Spa
Lenore Zion goes to a day spa and awkwardly eats all of their bananas when they aren't looking.
NONFICTION »
A Thousand Words: Baby Birds
Lenore Zion writes a thousand words about dead baby birds, and how they helped her understand her twin sister's death.
ESSAYS »
Mass Hysteria is Still a Big Old Question Mark
Lenore Zion writes about the Dancing Plague of 1518 and the Tanganyika Laughter Epidemic.
ESSAYS »
Stuff I’ve Picked
Life isn't always fun and games, and sometimes you have to make out with a serpent-man to prove it.
ESSAYS »
The Little Person Incident
Lenore Zion gets chased by an angry retarded midget.
HEALTH & LIFESTYLE »
Looking, Living, Fucking, Fighting
It's hard not to admire two people in their seventies who spend most of their time naked and furiously fighting right outside your bedroom window.
HEALTH & LIFESTYLE »
Worth It Pain
Lenore Zion drove her scooter directly into a parked car, and then told the nurse in the hospital that she'd like some sexual murder, please.
HUMOR »
Squiggle Wiggle All The Way Home
Childhood masturbation. What else is there?
HUMOR »
Tallywacker Karma With Weiner Vageener
Why showing your genitals to your elderly neighbor is wrong.
HUMOR »
No Fur For The Fifth Grade Mafia
Lenore Zion learned in fifth grade that money doesn't buy you love. Cancer does.
ESSAYS »
Death And Me: A Love Story
Lenore Zion explains why her grandmother's death didn't bother her very much.
HUMOR »
The Passion Of The Limbo Lord
A fool and his money are soon parted - especially on vacation, and especially when you meet a con artist named the Limbo Lord.
ESSAYS »
Beauty In The Eyes Of A Fish
Lenore Zion's explains why exactly some people smell of rotting fish, and why the smell of rotting fish on a friend can be a good thing.
HUMOR »
Nana Vs. The Vagrants
You never really know what that babysitter is really doing with your children, do you?
ESSAYS »
Spreading Christmas Cheer Is What Little Jewish Girls Are Here For
Lenore Zion discusses the things public schools required Jewish girls to do during Christmas time in central Illinois.
NONFICTION »
Early Bedbug Trauma
The causal relationship between early bedbug trauma and scientific leanings in children is explored.
     
   
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