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Irene Zion

IRENE ZION has been married to the same curmudgeon for 40 years. She has 5 children, none of whom sufficiently appreciates her. The one you probably know is Lenore, who frequently gives her mother hives. Irene paints oil portraits and makes her own frames. She has been described as an outsider artist. Most of her paintings creep people out, especially her family. She finds this to be greatly satisfying. She writes non-fiction for TNB and loves every minute of it. She is writing fiction now too, but is too chicken to show it to anyone. She has two golden retrievers who will inherit anything of worth she leaves behind. Her kids will delight in dividing up her famous cork collection and her notorious stockpile of bubble wrap.



 Recent Work by Irene Zion
FLASH NONFICTION »
The Heartbreak of Fish Lice
Irene Zion learns why her fish are acting strangely and then dying.
MEMOIR »
The Ghost Town and the Ghosts
Irene Zion and her husband are on a long road trip. Sometimes a simple thing like getting gas can be an unexpectedly unnerving experience.
HUMOR »
The $68 Deal
Irene Zion learns why she and her husband got such a great bargain, and that her daughter, Dr. Lenore, has absolutely no faith in her.
MEMOIR »
Probably It’s Nothing
Irene Zion has a medical scare and periodically loses her sight, hearing and mind.
HUMOR »
Frog Jerky and Alcoholic Dogs
Irene Zion takes her dogs for a walk -- an activity complicated by the fact that her dogs are smarter than she is.
POEM »
Does She Lick?
Irene Zion gets an e-mail request for her therapy dog. The phone call gets complicated.
HUMOR »
La Dangereux Pouffiesse Redux Trompesues au Club de Elk
Irene Zion went out for a night of zydeco music and Cajun food, but things did not turn out as she had anticipated.
HUMOR »
Nerd Camp
Irene Zion's husband loved summer camp. He expected his children to have similar feelings about the camps they attended. He was wrong.
HUMOR »
Meet the Zions: An Introduction for the New TNBers
Irene Zion thinks the new TNB writers might want to meet some of the old guard, since a commenter asked her who Lenore Zion was.
HUMOR »
There Is a Very Simple Reason for Me to Have Broken My Ribs
Irene Zion learns to be careful about what she shares on Facebook.
HUMOR »
The Kid from Mercury
The author remembers one of her children when he was small. Sometimes remembering entails complications.
ESSAY »
Halloween at the Hospital
A story about people dressing up like idiots and the miracles of modern medicine.
MEMOIR »
The Flying Pedestal
A story proving that you CAN go home again.
ESSAY »
The Lady in the Chair
An ordinary day of volunteering brings the reader suddenly upon despair.
NONFICTION »
A Thousand Words: A Sort of Funny Death Story
A story about the fabrication of a life story for a woman’s eulogy before her protracted suicide.
ESSAY »
Blowback from the Amputation
A snippet in the life of a woman who has full responsibility for her certifiably crazy, suicidal mother.
HUMOR »
Hungry Sara
Marvel at the eating history of a very strange child.
   
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