Tuesday, February 9, 2010
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Irene Zion

IRENE ZION has been married to the same curmudgeon for 40 years. She has 5 children, none of whom sufficiently appreciates her. The one you probably know is Lenore, who frequently gives her mother hives. Irene paints oil portraits and makes her own frames. She has been described as an outsider artist. Most of her paintings creep people out, especially her family. She finds this to be greatly satisfying. She writes non-fiction for TNB and loves every minute of it. She is writing fiction now too, but is too chicken to show it to anyone. She has two golden retrievers who will inherit anything of worth she leaves behind. Her kids will delight in dividing up her famous cork collection and her notorious stockpile of bubble wrap.



 Recent Work by Irene Zion
HUMOR »
There Is a Very Simple Reason for Me to Have Broken My Ribs
Irene Zion learns to be careful about what she shares on Facebook.
HUMOR »
The Kid from Mercury
The author remembers one of her children when he was small. Sometimes remembering entails complications.
ESSAYS »
Halloween at the Hospital
A story about people dressing up like idiots and the miracles of modern medicine.
MEMOIR »
The Flying Pedestal
A story proving that you CAN go home again.
ESSAYS »
The Lady in the Chair
An ordinary day of volunteering brings the reader suddenly upon despair.
NONFICTION »
A Thousand Words: A Sort of Funny Death Story
A story about the fabrication of a life story for a woman’s eulogy before her protracted suicide.
ESSAYS »
Blowback from the Amputation
A snippet in the life of a woman who has full responsibility for her certifiably crazy, suicidal mother.
HUMOR »
Hungry Sara
Marvel at the eating history of a very strange child.
ESSAYS »
The Invisible Side of the Family
A shocking revelation that doesn’t come until after the comments.
MOVIES »
Life in Zimbabwe Today
Read about the most beautiful, horrible place on earth.
HUMOR »
The Party Began Before We Even Got to Africa
The untoward and embarrassing results of taking a sleeping pill on a plane.
HUMOR »
Just a Little Bomb
The story of what was meant to be a solution to a raccoon problem but didn’t work.
HUMOR »
The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men Gang Aft Aglay
Try to surprise your family on Thanksgiving and see how wrong it can all turn out.
ESSAYS »
Paranoid Mode
How very bad things can go wrong if you try to take a vacation, including food poisoning and an amputation.
HUMOR »
My First Two Children Were Scarred for Life in 1973
A story about a surprise party that went wildly awry in so many ways.
ESSAYS »
Another Phone Call and Another Red Car
Yet another story proving children superior in nefarious craftiness than their easily dupable parents.
ESSAYS »
Why My Brother Has Ten Fingers
A story of a mother’s compulsion to inflexible tidiness to the detriment of her son’s fingers remaining intact.
NONFICTION »
1000 Words: One Night In The Cold Central Illinois Winter
A story about the gullibility and utter blindness of parents and the cleverness of their unprincipled, diabolical children.
     
   
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