Saturday, February 4, 2012

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Irene Zion

IRENE ZION has been married to the same curmudgeon for 40 years. She has 5 children, none of whom sufficiently appreciates her. The one you probably know is Lenore, who frequently gives her mother hives. Irene paints oil portraits and makes her own frames. She has been described as an outsider artist. Most of her paintings creep people out, especially her family. She finds this to be greatly satisfying. She writes non-fiction for TNB and loves every minute of it. She is writing fiction now too, but is too chicken to show it to anyone. She has two golden retrievers who will inherit anything of worth she leaves behind. Her kids will delight in dividing up her famous cork collection and her notorious stockpile of bubble wrap.



 Recent Work by Irene Zion
MEMOIR »
Road Trip University
Men and women are each discrete forms of life; politicians are weasels and how a road trip can be a not-for-credit education.
MEMOIR »
How My Broodje Saved Us Around $490
Irene Zion learns that having a car in Amsterdam has its price. This is a cautionary tale.
MEMOIR »
Jail and Prison Are Not the Same
Irene Zion is taken by surprise by the twist in her conversation with a child.
MEMOIR »
Unexpected Wonder
Irene Zion wrote something happy and short to curb her suicidal thoughts since seeing "Biutiful."
NONFICTION »
The Evil Eye Situation
Irene Zion thinks she can escape missing Christmases Past by leaving the country and instead is attacked by an Evil Eye in a foreign land.
HUMOR »
A Typical Text for the Zion Family
Irene Zion tries to answer a simple text from her son but Lenore grabs the phone.
MEMOIR »
The Crucifixion
Irene Zion shows that a child's comprehension of the world is determined by what she has learned.
NONFICTION »
The Massage Story: Or What Might Actually Be A Sort of Love Letter to Victor (Which He Will Never Read)
Irene Zion can't sleep, so she writes a kind of love letter to Victor, who is completely oblivious.
FLASH NONFICTION »
The Heartbreak of Fish Lice
Irene Zion learns why her fish are acting strangely and then dying.
MEMOIR »
The Ghost Town and the Ghosts
Irene Zion and her husband are on a long road trip. Sometimes a simple thing like getting gas can be an unexpectedly unnerving experience.
HUMOR »
The $68 Deal
Irene Zion learns why she and her husband got such a great bargain, and that her daughter, Dr. Lenore, has absolutely no faith in her.
MEMOIR »
Probably It’s Nothing
Irene Zion has a medical scare and periodically loses her sight, hearing and mind.
HUMOR »
Frog Jerky and Alcoholic Dogs
Irene Zion takes her dogs for a walk -- an activity complicated by the fact that her dogs are smarter than she is.
POEM »
Does She Lick?
Irene Zion gets an e-mail request for her therapy dog. The phone call gets complicated.
HUMOR »
La Dangereux Pouffiesse Redux Trompesues au Club de Elk
Irene Zion went out for a night of zydeco music and Cajun food, but things did not turn out as she had anticipated.
HUMOR »
Nerd Camp
Irene Zion's husband loved summer camp. He expected his children to have similar feelings about the camps they attended. He was wrong.
HUMOR »
Meet the Zions: An Introduction for the New TNBers
Irene Zion thinks the new TNB writers might want to meet some of the old guard, since a commenter asked her who Lenore Zion was.
   
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